When i was young girl

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 When I was young and beautiful girl.

My young age and my beauty.

Negative and positive attraction toward me.

My age and my feeling.

Now I am a woman of forty five years old and what looked,watched and observed on my past life,here I want to write the past history of my life. Although life history or "autobiography", is long and lengthy days and date wise events that are impossible to write here because no body like to study so long and lengthy articles as those are written as chapters and divide in to many parts. But here I shall describe my life history in four or five paragraphs because every young girl,ladies and old women study this blog post and share knowledge and information with others young girls in such a words as " read,discuss, like and share with others and in this way others remain safe and sound from wrong waves of notorious age. Yes although my life history is full of charms and beautiful scenes of ups and down of time as past with me ,with my life story and with my feeling and thinking. No matter how good ,some of them is as under.

Dear readers,I was born in a middle class family and my family was consists of only five members my mother,my father,my two brothers but some times my maternal and parental uncles with daughters and with sons come in our home and stay there for some days with us in our home because our home was situated near a big city and our home was in a village. There was greeneries and natural flower fragrance was spread as weather changes,especially in spring session when new and young flowering plats grew and cause increase in the beauty of nature.

Yes because I was young and beautiful so my parents called me a "park", a beautiful young girl,my brothers named me as a " princes ", because I was only one sister of two brothers. Likewise my others relatives named me as sweetly and flowers name to me as a lovely name,yes in those days it was my real right for such name. Because my beauty was attractive and charming in the eyes of those all relatives. As a young and beautiful girl I felt proud and felt only one living beautiful creatures of the world. Why not,because all of my family members loved so much and to day those love I can't describe in words.

My father, my mother and my brother live was a real love. But my relative love was artificial and timely because those all people live with my body and face beauty,love with my hairs style,my white and beautiful teeth, my charming and attractive eyes,my walling and with my talking ways,and with my glowing and beautiful checks,yes those all people loved my long and standing nose and for my beautiful eyes color.

Yes I fully remember when I was five years old,my mother bought necessary class books, pencils, papers and school bag for me because my age was suitable and proper for learning and education so next day my mother enter me in a girls+boys school, although this was primary coeducation school where young boys and girls study together without some kinds of decriminalization. OK,first day at school was disappointed because I was new and there was no my friend was all ready present there. I felt lonely in some first days but after one week my new circle of friendship started,and here the real reason was my "beauty" and my beautiful manners. Yes due to these qualities many young boys and girls attached with me as a "friend", but real reason was still for away because in those days I not know the real value of beauty because I was young and not known the tricks of love and sex.

Yes in those first days I was innocent, first factor was my young age and second was unawareness about cleaver environmental situations. Because every body praised my beauty even male teacher also through eyes on my young attractive body map and thrilling waves of my eyes. Even my class fellow girls and boys look on me as a new and attractive thing for them but still I not know the real transparency.

But when I passed my primary examination and went in middle school my age was more than ten years and right and wrong difference was pretty to me because I know" beauty first theft than golden ", and my beauty was of such type everyone can steal any time,but this was I also know honour of my family was directly fixed and fitted with my beauty, so safety of my beauty was my first and foremost responsibility and duties. But it was very very difficult to safe me from love crime because at the day of birth there was proud in my mind filled with the seeds of proudly feeling and thinking and yes this was only for my body beauty, not for positive ways of thinking.

In three middle classes many my boy friends tried to camouflage me in the circular nesting of " real and poor love", but I refused to accept the darkness of my beauty light but what about last limits, here the real and  true reasons started.

Because my mind was filled with proudly seeds so it was time to grew in that ground and my beauty was near to end. Many boys started taking interest in me,in my beauty and in my affairs even my relative tried to rob my beauty because they always tried to kissed on my face when I was lonely in my room because I never know my beauty is my first enemy that can disturb my life and my future survival in society. But hot blood in my body was circulating with proudly speed of my youth and my internal wishes some time arise but the camouflage of my society, our rites,our norm and our shameful environment did not allow me to exposed myself to my artificial lover and before those who try to take timely interest in me especially in my body beauty. Yes in front of me only two paths such as positive and negative was running, but the main issue was what path I choose and select to save my beauty and beautiful body,yes very very difficult situations was to me/ for me.

As I told you first I was beautiful second there was proudly seed was growing in my mind,Others related cause was my behavior with others yes sometimes my behavior with others was lovely, sometimes my behavior with others was harsh,may be it was due to my interest structure of my body because during my periods my habits and nature change but after my bath my real and lovely natural habits recover and my behavior with family members, with relatives and with my friends so lovely again and those people again wish to love me but my school boy friends always try to attract my attention and my beauty charms.

My be some boys and men not know during girls periods the habits change because many different kinds of changes took place in periods duration and girls behavior change with others. So if you are husband of a wife,if you are brother of a sister,if you are father of a daughter and if you are a common man ,your dealing, your behavior and your timely treatment with girls, young ladies and under age women should be accordance with situations, you must not ignore the periods affects on females behavior, nature and habits as all these changes during periods.

In middle school my age was of such like as of blooming flower and due to beauty of that flower every body wish and want to pluck that flower for completing and fulfilling his own wishes and wants by deteriorating the future and future life of others girls like me. Yes same was true to me and in front to me.

Further more I not want to go in details of my past life history but in short words I want to sump up my life data and that is only "destruction of my beauty and my life", yes if levels or stages of beauty place at three ,these are low level beauty, medium level beauty and top level beauty because I was beautiful of top level so many people tried to run trial on my beauty and innocence was my weakness so I tried my best to avoid from some kinds of scandals but nesting was strong and there was no way to escaped from all those. I understand in latter life beauty is worse enemy of girls because beauty attracts others eyes and concentration till girls internal proud arise and hot blood need some kind of coldness through some ways but when all vanished and beauty disappeared from face and charming of body grow old then no one look,care and like because attraction and attractive waves changes. Yes same was try to me.

Yes here gape is must and next stage enter in my life when I was near fifty years old , yes in this age all attractive thing was not with me,with my face and with my body so I was like a useless machine that all working parts are still same but shape change with the passage of time and these kinds of changes brought me on the way where only past pictures and images in my mind declare "you are now nothing", and " you was precise only for beauty and beautiful colour of your body skin",.

In these days I am wondering here and there but nobody like me, want me,interest in me and love with me because my beauty time have been passed. Yes I am remembering I only destroyed myself and gained nothing only tamely satisfaction for cooling my hot and worm wishes ,yes those wishes was only sweaty dishes that only once satisfy me and my friends. Now those friends and close relatives not only go away from but they think "I am a monster", than can again sting them again as was I'm past but I think again and again,

" Someone destroy themselves than others ",

And,

" Others can't harm you till you agree to step on stairs ",

And,

"Every one complete own wishes,own wants, own demand ",

"Please don't Putoff yourself till your own interest",

One Important point of understanding is" over fifty my wishes and wants disappear ", 

All girls be careful about yourself, about your future life and about your habits,otherwise you will think like me and weep over your past,as I was caught many asexual transmitted disorders and no doze of medicines are improving as a last treatment.